Let Me Sow Light Living with a Depressed Spouse Amy Viets, Bernadette Stankard $10.95 ISBN: 9780879463786 Book 8.5 x 11 128 pages September 2008   Quantity:

Treatment for depression has come a long way, but often left out of the equation are the devastating effects depression can have on a marriage. The feelings of alienation, guilt and anger can be overwhelming. Authors Amy Viets and Bernadette Stankard have both lived with a depressed spouse, and they offer this book as a source of support for the pain that spouses may feel as they watch their loved ones struggle with depression. In addition to drawing from their own experiences, they share examples from other people who have first-hand experience with depression in a spouse. This book addresses issues such as: Depression's effect on finances Depression's effect on faith The challenges of treatment The importance of self-care Life after depression Amy Viets knows firsthand what it means to live with depression. She and her husband struggled through his illness for twelve years as they searched for an effective combination of therapy and medication. Amy is the Director of Children’s Ministry for a large ELCA Lutheran congregation in Overland Park, Kansas. Her articles and essays have appeared in a number of religious and parenting publications. She is the author of Making Faith Fun from ACTA Publications. Bernadette Stankard and her husband, Ed, have been married for 37 years, half of which was spent dealing with Ed's depression. Bernadette is the author of several books and gives presentations on creativity and multiple intelligences to schools, churches and businesses. EXCERPT: When Depression Hits a Marriage "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." At the time of their wedding, couples make these promises and more in the sight of God and the entire community. In the newness and excitement of this celebratory time, even with the benefit of marriage preparation programs and/or premarital counseling, we rarely stop to think carefully and prayerfully about what these promises might really entail. When we start out, we all have certain ideas of what we want from marriage. Our dream might be to work together with our spouse to build a home and a family. We may picture building careers together. We assume we will be equal partners in the sexual relationship, in parenthood, in finances, in decision-making, in faith. As we grow in marriage, through a lot of give and take, spoken or understood division of labor, trial and error, and with God’s guidance, we do our best to create the kind of union that is comfortable and satisfying for both partners. In the backs of our minds, however, we know things won’t always be rosy. We realize that “good times and bad times” will pepper the road ahead of us. But it is very unlikely that the illness of depression is something we except or prepare for. Sarah’s story reflects the impact depression can have on a partnership: “I grew up without a real father in my life. When my husband and I were married, even though I don’t believe in ‘the man wears the pants in the family’ philosophy, I wanted a husband who would be a protective, father-like figure in some ways. That was how our marriage evolved, and we were both happy with it…until my husband’s depression took over. Then I turned into the caregiver and protector. Everything was upside down.”

Of Related Interest: Making Faith Fun: 132 Spiritual Activities You Can Do with Your Kids (Also by Amy Viets)

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